Death Is My Only Resolve
by GhoulEater13
Summary: Mikado kills himself and Izaya follows soon after. Rated M for Major Character Death, Suicide, Trigger Warnings. Yaoi. No smut... If any of you ever need to talk, PM me!


**A/N: Hey you guys... So I'm gonna post the first chapter for Angry once I fix all spelling errors... I just tried checking HiddenSoulSword out again... Consider it... Dead. ): Whoever hacked it is a big meany! Anywho... Reviews are greatly appreciated. Love, Ghoul-san~!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own this lovely anime! Enjoy my humans!**

 **Izaya: Hey that's my line!**

 **Ghoul: *giggles* Exactly~! On with the show.**

Izaya stood on the rooftop of the abandoned warehouse across from his lover, Mikado Ryuugamine. The boy had a sad smile on his face and tears streaming down his pale cheeks. The teens eyes were closed as if to hide away his true emotion of fear, or sadness. "M-Mikado?! What are you doing up here? Get away from the edge! You could fall! But that's why you're here! Isn't it! Well... Think! We can talk! Once you do this, there _is_ no going back!" The informant said, sadness and worry etched on his face.

"I have thought about this, for a long time now. I want to talk. But I can't. Not now... I'm far beyond talking. You can't save me Izaya..." Mikado explained, never losing his sad smile, opening his eyes slightly. "I'm definitely beyond being saved. Don't worry. You'll forget about me soon. Masaomi-kun and Anri-chan did. You will too." The brunette's voice cracked a bit towards the end.

"I'm not them!" Izaya cried. "If you do this then! I'll follow shortly after! I can't live without you!" Izaya cried. Mikado's eyes widened slightly at this, but he relaxed shortly after I can live... no, die with that. But first, you have to promise me something. Promise that you'll at least try to move on. In a month, if you still can't continue with your life, then you can join me in this white infinity." Mikado raised his arms to shoulder length at his sides. Tears continued streaming down his face like a graceful waterfall. He could feel his body grow weak.

"N-No! I can't! I can't lose you! I won't be able to live without you! P-Please." The informant pleaded, reaching out for his lover. "Mikado! I'm begging you!"

"Promise me Izaya! Swear to me that you'll at least try!" Mikado tightly shut his eyes, arms still outstretched at his sides.

"I-I" Izaya stuttered.

"I already overdosed on some pain killers just before you got here! I have a razor in my pocket so if my first options go wrong I still have that. Either way I- I'm going to die!" Mikado cried out, his body growing weaker.

"O-Okay... I p-promise" The desperate raven whispered. "I'll try..."

"Thank you." Mikado smiled, a warm smile, before falling backwards. He let gravity pull him down to the ground. "I love you... Izaya Orihara." The informant ran over to the edge, and saw his lover's mangled body on the cold hard ground. Suddenly, rain began to fall from the stars above. Mikado dreamed that he would die on a night like this. It's strange really. That dream came true, but far to soon for anyone's liking. It was times like these that he wished Celty were here to catch him. The last expression Izaya saw on Mikado's face was a smile. A beautiful smile, that Izaya wouldn't forget...

 **~1 Month Later~**

Izaya kept his promise, but when the time came, he was ready to die. He even left a note. He told Celty to pick it up and give it to Shinra. He said it was something important that he needed Shinra to take a look at. Before Izaya went to the warehouse Mikado died at, he went to his lover's grave. Izaya slid his fingers along the writing on the cold marble.

 _ **Mikado Ryuugamine**_

 _ **Beloved son, friend, and lover.**_

 _ **A bright light that will be missed.**_

Izaya requested that the 'lover' part be put there. He wanted everyone to know that he at least had someone. Everything else was put together by Mikado's parents, even the ceremony. Izaya didn't go. He didn't think that he deserved it. Mikado's parents were torn up about it. So was Anri Sonohara. Masaomi Kida still didn't know. It was probably better that way. Izaya slowly carried himself to the warehouse where in which Mikado ended his life. His precious, beautiful, short life. Thinking back upon his own life, Izaya realized that it meant nothing. Thinking about Mikado, and the things he said before jumping, he found that he was the only part of Izaya's life that meant _something._ Izaya realized that he didn't _deserve_ Mikado. Izaya never did anything good for _anyone._ In the end the raven haired informant knew that his death was the best thing he did for, well... _everyone._ So he jumped. He jumped right into the arms of his lover. He could finally be happy again. Izaya could finally hold Mikado in his arms again... Forever. "You didn't forget me like I hoped. I guess that's what it's like to... you know... fall for someone." Mikado said snuggling into Izaya's chest.

"I guess so... But, you know that there was no way I would have forgotten about you... Right?" Izaya responded curling his fingers in the teen's hair, pulling him closer to him. "I'm going to hell. I'm sure you knew that though."

"We're all going to hell. You of all people should know that. This is a world full of sinners." Mikado said smiling. Izaya chuckled. They pulled apart, smiled at each other, kissed, and slowly started to fade away.

"I love you, Mikado Ryuugamine."

"I love you too, Izaya Orihara." Mikado responded, blue eyes meeting red ones. With that, the two of them disappeared.

 **~With Celty and Shinra~**

Shinra was crying on his knees, allowing a black clad dullahan to comfort him. They read Izaya's note. It said:

 _ **Dear Shinra and Celty,**_

 _ **If you are reading this then I am most definitely dead. I am truly sorry, but I couldn't do it anymore. I loved Mikado. He was the only part in my life that meant something. The only thing I had. Now, he's gone. I can't go on. I can't run from my past. Instead, I have decided to chase it, catch it, and be buried six feet below along with it. I have come to realize that my life means nothing. I wanted to say that I'm sorry for all of the wrongs that I can't make right. Send the brute my regards. Without Mikado as my guiding light, I never could have seen passed this oh so black reality...**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Izaya Orihara.**_

 **The End**

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. I just want to say that I wrote an actual Sud note similar to this one when I was younger, so the note connects to me in a way. I just never said anything about loving someone that died in mine. I thought back upon some of my many mistakes and realized that that was a big one. It inspired a story though so... yeah. Love you guys. I hope you keep reading my fanfics! They won't all be as depressing as this one. Reviews are needed. Story recommendations are nice too. Bye-bye my humans.**

 **Love,**

 **Ghoul-chan~!**


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